Tulip meets Gene Kelly

A repost from Calvinist Cartoons.  

Insert faith

Inspiration comes at the strangest times.  My daughter had a piano recital yesterday.  Two students played a duet version of Climb Every Mountain from The Sound of Music.  Everyone knows the climactic line "Till you find your dream."  Unfortunately, dream rhymes with esteem which led me to think of self-esteem.

I had just listened John MacArthur's sermon on the true knowledge of God and how God is distorted by the purveyors of the health/wealth "gospel".  I had to concentrate on listening to the rest of the duet rather than making up lyrics in my head.  I did come home and write this little ode of advice from one prosperity preacher to another to the tune Climb Every Mountain.

To be successful

Follow this theme

Pander their desires

Feed their self esteem

Minimize doctrine

Don't talk of sin

Water down the gospel

That draws people in

The truth in the Word

They do not need to know

Just keep tickling their ears

And your book sales will grow!

God is the heav'nly

Vending machine

Just insert your faith and

He'll give you your dreams!

Mr. Spurgeon

I wanted to use this tune for a song on Limited Atonement, but it was too hard. However, here's a little tribute to Spurgeon. No disrespect is meant at all. I have the deepest appreciation for his many, many sermons.

So without further ado, Mr. Spurgeon to the tune Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes.

Oh yes, preach that sermon, Mister Spurgeon
(Preach)
Preach, Mister Spurgeon

Please Mister Spurgeon, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a sermon from the Word for me
(Please, Please Mister Spurgeon)
I need some solid theology
(Oh yeah)
Because the truth is what will set us free

There must be some word today
To help me run this life long race
Please Mister Spurgeon, look and see
Is there a sermon, a sermon for me

I've been waitin', perseverin' Mister Spurgeon
Sooo, prayerfully
For just a thorough exegesis
Of truth and doctrine that I need to see

(Please, Mister Spurgeon)
Mister Spurgeon, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a sermon from the Word for me
(Please, Please Mister Spurgeon)
That will lift up Jesus Christ
(Oh yeah)
So I can worship my dear Savior, divine.

So many years have passed in time
Since you delivered those many lines
God gifted you to be a great Bible teacher
And we're still calling you the Prince of Preachers

Please, Mister Spurgeon, look and see
If there's a sermon or verse from the Word for me
God knows I've been so blessed
Yes, because your sermons are still so fresh.

Why don't you preach it, brother. Preach it, brother
Oh why don't you preach it, brother
Please, please, Mr. Spurgeon
Please preach the Word
Let God's word be heard.

Why don't you preach it brother,
Preach it, brother
Preach it, brother
Preach it, brother
Preach it, brother
Please, Mister Spurgeon
Deliver the sermon, the sooner the better
Preach it, brother, Preach it, brother
Preach it, brother, Please, Mister Spurgeon
Preach it, brother, Preach it, brother

Climb up ego mountain

Inspired by this and this.

Climb, climb up ego mountain
You deserve the best;
Climb, climb up ego mountain
Trample what is less.
Turn, turn from God and Gospel,
Look to self alone,
Climb, climb up ego mountain
You're divine.

(To the tune "Climb, climb up sunshine mountain")

Don't show the teeth

This little song is inspired by this picture from The Sacred Sandwich to the tune Let's Go Fly a Kite from Mary Poppins.

Let's go fleece the flock
They'll swallow any shlock
Just make sure our canine teeth aren't showing

Then we'll clean out the till
After we've served our swill
So let's go fleece the flock!

Another T

Another T song. I couldn't resist because the song lent itself so well. Here's another Nat King Cole classic, Unforgettable, by Irving Gordon with new words about total depravity.

Totally depraved, that's what we are
Totally depraved in deed and heart
Like some filthy rags, foul and unclean
Is the value of our righteous deeds
Like Adam before, no one could be more

Totally depraved in every way
And forever more we would have stayed
That's why it is so incredible
That Christ gave His life impeccable
For one so totally depraved, too.

Here's the original song:

West Side Story Meets the Puritans

I was thinking about songs from West Side Story while coming up with a caption for this post. I began humming the song Maria by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim and this is what I came up with.

John Owen
I just read a book by John Owen
And suddenly my sin will never be the same to me

John Owen
It's hard to read dudes like John Owen
But paperbacks abridged are helpful for the folks like me

John Owen
Take your time and digest it slowly
Feed your soul as your pride is made lowly

John Owen
The great theologian, John Owen

The best book on mortification I ever read
John Owen

No disrepect is meant. The Mortification of Sin is one of the books that changed my life. This just shows how strange my mind works.

Here is the original from the 1961 musical: