Your Best Tune Now

My latest tune snatch is "On Broadway" by Barry Mann and Cynthia Wells in collaboration with Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller. This was recorded by the Drifters and George Benson.

This was inspired by the posts on "Treasuring Christ in Catastrophic Situations" at Gospel Driven Disciples.

Your teeth are looking bright tonight, Joel Osteen
You're style and manner's sure to not offend
Your happy pep talks fill the seats
How God exists to meet my needs
But what will happen when life's at the end?

You say I should be treated fine, Joel Osteen
Because I now have God's own DNA
But what do you and I deserve?
God's righteous wrath we have incurred
What is your answer for that judgement day?

You've written two best selling books, Joel Osteen
They hold the secret to fulfill my dreams
But I'm not buying what you sell
Because the gospel you don't tell
No thanks, I'll read the Word instead, Joel Osteen

Musical Invitation from a Seeker-sensitive Mega Church

This song is set to the tune Seventy-six Trombones from the Music Man by Meredith Wilson. If you aren't familiar with the tune you can watch and listen to it here. This tune snatch was inspired by an invitation in the mail from a local seeker-sensitive church. This song is a bit of an exaggeration.

Seventy-six plush chairs in the coffee bar
And one thousand and ten fresh donuts to eat
We're so eager to make you feel very comfortable, at home
So sit back, and please put up your feet.

We will amuse your kids in their Sunday school
We have licensed a franchise of Chuckie Cheese
The teens can go off and play Christian video games
So you have your worship time in peace

So come this Sunday and we're sure you'll have a blast
And for free, you'll receive a gift card for some gas
Well appointed rest rooms and an ATM
Circuit gym and Internet

Sermons that are guaranteed to not offend
We just love, we will not ever talk of sin
We will twist the Bible just to meet your every need
So why don't you come on next Sunday, pretty please?

Forty-one sofas on which you can recline
You can carry a conversation with ease
After service, go get your lunch at the food court down the hall
Play some bowling after, if you please

Come as you are, we don't care how you are dressed
Don't bother to bring your Bible at all
At eleven o'clock we start but it isn't on the dot
See you Sunday and you'll have a ball!

Why this blog?

I have a strange hobby, if you want to call it that.

I like to take normal songs such as musical show tunes and rewrite the lyrics to something completely different. I think I like the mental challenge of rhyming and playing with the words. The other reason is that it's just fun.

For example, five years ago, I took a number of songs from The Sound of Music and My Fair Lady and rewrote the lyrics to tell the story of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, specifically with the 1995 BBC version in mind. The songs morphed from How do you solve a problem like Maria to How do you solve a problem like Fitzwilliam. Thankfully, there were a number of folks who liked P&P as much as I did so they didn't think I was completely nuts.

Fast forward five years.

Thanks to the Lyrical Miracle contests at Calvinistic Cartoons, I have begun to do the same thing again only with theology in mind.

I don't know how often creativity will strike, but I will be posting my theological songs set to absconded tunes. I already have some ideas brewing in my head so stay tuned for more from Invasion of the Tune Snatchers.